I am too much !

I know, I am too much. I should not behave like a teenager but thank you for not giving up on me, I have always produced a literature out of your absence. I might never be able to explain it to you, what you mean to me, age is just a social construct. You are not 22, you behave like 42 and I behave like 17 when though I am 37. By all means, and standards, I am childish, and you are practical, maybe we both can afford to be like that, I hate to be responsible, and you have to be responsible for yourself. 

I am not sure how much will I be able to contribute to your battles that you have to fight, but I can be silent friend, who can be your listener, and if you give me that honor of lifetime, I will be eternally thankful. 

I pity myself, for not seeking the love of my life, my marriage has turned into a transactional compromise, on the surface, I have a happy family, but I am very lonely man. You are charm of my life, and It would keep my sanity intact. I know you don't understand that right now, but after few years, you will realize that we all need one person in our life to look after us, because our spouses don't do that, they have jobs and kids for that, they are not available for us. 

I am not also sure, how long would I be obsessed with you as a person, because you and I know that every obsession has an expiry date, and then it becomes a mediocre, but it's been two years now. I am occupied with you, at least in my imagination, and that is why I am documenting everything as a evidence, that I have invested into your thoughts in your absence with so much hard work and labor.